Life’s a contradictory constant

Well then, here we go again. After a weekend worth of movies, sleeping and eating I eventually had to think about something. So for this week or so, let us all focus our attention towards the alternative gender-types among us. Disclaimer: The following treatise is not so much a personal opinion as it is an observation (just in case I get blasted for this) Had a conversation with a friend over the weekend (I’m not telling who), something struck me. Why do gays face so much more aversion and disgust than lesbian types? I’m inclined to believe that this is caused by how society perceives the nature of the union in question. How so?

When I asked my friend “So have you been around before getting together with your partner?” His prompt response “Well I don’t really want to discuss my sexual experiences” I said “My dear, I didnt mean that” “Well, when you say been around, that what it usually means” At that moment, I was particularly shocked and intrigued. Is that really the basis of the union between two men? If the rest of us regular peoples are to think that way about homosexuals, it is no wonder then that gays are treated with that amount of disgust. Realise that when we use the word ‘homophobic’ it tends to imply a person’s (usually males) fear of male homosexuals, when in technical terms it is meant to include all forms of homosexuality? That in itself is an indicator of how society tends to perceive both types of homosexuality. One is definitely not more encouraged then the other, but certainly is reacted to with less fear and loathing. Am i not wrong to say that?

I attribute this to the way that male-dominated society looks at gender. Women are by nature emotional and weak creatures with dependency issues - so when two women get together, its an emotional bond. (definitely a turn on for guys, which makes it less disgusting and vice versa) Guys are by nature strong and virile, with a right to exert their sexual tendencies on women. (debatable point but hell that’s not the point here) When two guys get together, its all wrong. You can’t use emotion to explain the bond, and if you do - then they become distorted versions of the stereotype i have already outlined. That’s one strike. Furthermore, it is perceived as a peverse sexual need that I assume is attributed to the “whore”. That’s two strikes. The fact that they embrace who they are makes this all so undeniably vain and egoistical, which I suppose is the third strike.

Somehow, I think that the responses that society have produced towards our fellow human beings are gender-biased and ironically so based on the modern patriarchial structure that has been remixed with remnants of old and new perspectives. This opens up a whole new box of worms about patriarchy and religion that I don’t want to go into, so this shall just as it is. Half baked and hard to swallow. Muahahah.

Hehehe. Sorry, had to write my thursday blues away - its so nice to sleep in! Raining and cold, and the radio is exceptionally crappy. i will try to figure out how to off the damm notification button so that you guys wouldnt always be flooded*Yawn* I would like to have:

nice multi-mosselen and tomato soup in Antwerp

a freakin tasty sarnie from Birmingham

a good show down at Piccadily Circus

fireworks, grand music and a picnic under the stars

and take photos of old people in love… so sweet. Somehow i can’t seem to get old people here in Singapore doing the same. Or is it just that I am looking at the wrong places? Have a good weekend ahead! I am certainly looking forward to mine*wink*

I suppose these two issues are chalk and cheese but they do meet somewhere in between, and in the local context, even more so. The death penalty has been a hotly debated issue outside of Singapore, and quietly protested against in the state. What is surprising to me is that I decided to blog about it, even though it never meant anything to me before; I was rather indifferent to the whole concept of it. It’s a strange thing to associate thoughts with death, not so much the personal fears of death, more so the death of others. Not illness, or misfortune, but by lawful action. Being exposed to various permutations of death these few days (grossed out scenes in ‘Audition’, gory car crash in Malaysia and also the beheading of american journalist in Iraq) just made me uncomfortable and disgusted. The distance and the sensationalized theatricality of the situations made the experience more novel then provoking.

In fact, the only reason that prompted me to even think about the death penalty in a serious, effectual light was television at its best. Watching Boston Legal at night surprisingly forced me to face death on a raw, emotional level.  Watching a guy struggle to a death that was not his to deserve struck a raw nerve in me. It made me tear as I saw what fear and trepidation he felt. In its license as a dramatic series, it explored the issue of the death penalty more thoroughly and powerfully then i could ever imagine. The media justified its existence most powerfully in that moment, and it is under these circumstances that society hopes to grow in understanding.

It is through the art of script writing, therefore that such issues are brought forward for discussion. It is through the art of drama that actors are able to affect their audiences. It is by these things that we deem as part of culture that such thoughts could be expressed. It is these things that signal to us that we are probably missing out on alot more then we care to know. Why do we watch ineffectual and shallow comedies about desserts and theives, when we could be discussing the very issues that plague our growth as a society? Is it an attempt to dilute our passions and blind us to what is salient? This sudden revelation about my personal feelings towards death made me even more angry that I never really thought about it in the first place.

Personally, I think the arts scene in Singapore is effectively non existent. Yes it appears at regular intervals and seeks to protest the limitations and injustices done to it, but there can be no arts scene until the government decides that freedom of speech is important. Not that i do not understand their motives so far, but to silence the arts is to effectively kill the society they seek to build. The protests that the local art community has made on behalf of death row convicts so far has fallen on deaf ears, and society at large appears to be indifferent to it. I believe this to be so, not because society doesnt care, but because society does not know (for the lack of a better word) what it is really like.

This should cause alarm bells to ring, because this really points out something wrong about our society. The arts, in Singapore, seems to be the only channel left that serves as a reflection of the issues most pertinent in our society. Media is monopolized and content is controlled, and it is the arts and the people passionate about it that are vigilant on such issues. Death penalty is just one of the many, and the arts is just one of the few. What is a society to do when the people that care are silenced? We just hide in our shells and move on, we feel nothing and feel for nothing. What good then is a society that feels nothing - we are just a bunch of people that live on the same island, no more no less. Eventually, the party that uses such laws and regulations to maintain a society will cause its own death.

How ironically funny can it be when chalk and cheese show us what is most wrong with our society, when we treat the arts like the former - dirt cheap and insignificant and issues like the death penalty like the latter - a simple and natural product of society. Sigh. I temporarily rest my case.

This will probably the first in many bitch posts. Which i never really expect to do because I’m usually not that open about everything that’s going on. But hell since i started on a new period in my life, everything has been managable, almost peachy. Something had to come along and f***king ruined it. And the fault was not even mine to say the least. If you have developed a personal grudge against someone else, whose fault was not hers in the first place (you don’t freakin understand is it? The decisions werent hers to make - don’t kill the messenger!) , the least you can do refuse to work with her instead of being ultra caustic and condescending. Man what gives! FYI - it is not nice to be bitchy to someone who is probably going to be in the same business as you. Logically speaking, it is not a strategic move to be horrible to the other person because you will always need favours. Don’t do something stupid even if you think that your state of emotion warrants such a f***king volatile response.

I have learnt something though - that professionalism is not always a given when dealing with people in business. Some people have it, others clearly lack what is called common sense. I wish that people could seperate their emotions when reacting in a business situation, but boy do they surprise me. Even at their age and with that certain amount of experience ( i dare say that is a over-positive reflection) they act so callously! Which makes me wonder what on earth people really learn doing business, especially in tiny Singapore. Just because you work for a certain agency whose influence is phemonenally national, doesn’t mean you can pull the stops and kill anything in your way to get it done. F***k eejiats. Yesyes, I am putting myself in a precarious situation, talking about things that shouldn’t even be mentioned. But sometimes, in order to function this is inevitable. ARGH!

Now dont we all feel better. Ah.

I suppose that title sums it up. I was talking to my friend earlier about the idea of sacred femininity and at one point I figured that it was just a clever ruse dreamt up by the feminists to over throw the patriarchial system. How? Because academicians picked it up and let it run wild, so you have Mary Magdalene being denied her rightful place because of such overbearing male (well priestly) need to control the feminine threat. If the pro-Mary professors get their way (or in this case, the cunning feminists) then the entire patriarchial system is pretty much a hoax no? And then at another point, its like even though the feminine has been suppressed in religion, it has pretty much manifested itself else where. We have other kinds of goddess worship, other kinds of female role models that have come up in recent times. Yes you may argue that it’s still confined within a patriarchial structure, but still its pretty interesting how people still find ways to worship women. Not that im saying anything really - but think about it. There you go, half baked and unfinished. I will continue when i actually have the time to ponder over the little things in life.

A rare moment of intellect in the amidst of utter chaos - i’m trying real hard to convince people and myself that my mind has not degraded ever since i started working. Muahahah. Back to the mindlessness of working life! Cant be believe i have regular sleeping hours now. Sigh.

watch clockwork orange, the shining and all the other stanley kubrick stuff

chill out on a diet of gilmore girls and ice cream

start dancing

read up on everything!!! lesee robert jordan, penguin classics (the new ones you see at borders) so many many!

Start cooking off jamie oliver books. I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE GREAT GRUB!I want a whole collection

Eventually be a londoner type person who lives on sandwiches, fish and chips and beer.

Also have my hands on labyrinth, dark crystal and all the other funky jim henson animatronic movies i watched when i was a young peep.

Get a wardrobe make over and a freakin PDA (handphone,camera whatever)

Some one please be nice enough to make all these happen thanks. *cross fingers and wish*