Life’s a contradictory constant

Im beginning to understand when he said once…"if we break up now, I don’t think I can stay long in any other relationship I might have"

It was very scary when this dawned on me. 6 months after he said it.

I dunno what to do. I have one week to chill and a whole life to wonder what do next. I’ve always had my goals and all, what I wanted to do and where I want to go. But now that ive been thrown into the thick of things, I think I may have lost sight of my goal. Not that I don’t trust myself or what I’m doing at the moment, but I hope that I’m not just rationalizing my actions instead of just doing what I’m supposed to do to get there. *cross fingers* Big Guy will help me on this one, I just gotta trust that he is the ultimate HR guy ie he knows what im good for and he will put me there….

Time certainly does not make anything go away. It just creates a distance, a single thread that ties on to that memory. It still hurts, all that happened. But all I can do is simply sigh and move on. That person has, so should I.

Cherish whoever you have, for the one you have at hand couldnt be more perfect for you.

Just a couple more days and my internship is over!! unfortunately I didnt seem to get the job i wanted..and the reason most likely being i was too outstanding. (WTF, what kinda reasoning is that - "you are very talented, and you can make it big in the industry. But I’m scared that you will run off, that you will find the company too small for you" ) I dunno how she does it, but that lady sure knows how to reject an application*WAAAAA* But it just doesnt make sense…oh well. Life goes on, and I sure hope i do so well that she regretted not hiring me in the first place *BLEAH* But do still wanna work at FULLHOUSE COMMUNICATIONS or any blaardy advertising firm in the first place! So please, grant me my wish and just take a look at my overcrowded resume..so at least i feel like my work was worth something*begging look* OK!

Ill miss you buncha people*hug* Hope I get to hang out with you frequently because seriously i really do enjoy the company! Like we all say, the only good thing about the internship was meeting you all….and its been a blast! So lets have a good time on our last day k! and really hope to keep in touch with you guys….

Any one has rule of four? or anne rice? please please spare me the hunting, do me a favour and loan it to me*big eyed look* thankees. Ill loan out my james blunt in return k!

Seems like everyone is reassessing something. Love, relationships, career choices, friendships, self worth….This has been a busy month. People either really take it on them selves to create drama for entertainment, or we are all seriously deluded people. *sigh* I mean, all these personal crises simply makes me wonder whats up with myself too. Is life really complicated or do we simply just make things more multidimensional then they should be? (i think people personally revel in creating completely unrelated theories to everything else, try me and film - i could probably link Shrek with social malaise) EH?!@@^#*&#* I think we all should take a break and totally chill. Doctor’s orders*push specs* Seriously as i would always like to say, the solution is always at the tip of your fingers, but unless you finally get the guts to realise it, or acknowledge that you knew it all along, we will all get stuck thinking about what to do next. HA.

And speaking of which, i was re assessing Matrix today…and i realised that we never really escaped our fears as a civilization. I mean….the dystopia associated with science, the whole technology-is-bad-woe-is-us thing is taken to a whole new level. Because not only does it perpetuate that fear, it adds new fears to the list. Fears of existence(or lack of)in the metaphysical sense adds a whole new dimension to science fiction, and the definition of fighting for our existence as humans. Wa. And another thing…i realised that every fantasy and sci fi related book or film must have war…. mmmm. I guess war is like the basis for the argument against technology and science. Its like the ultimate imagining of dystopia. SO yuppers, alot was assessed in these couple of hours.. and don’t think it will end. The moment we stop assessing our selves, we begin to lose sight of who we are. So i guess its a vicious cycle yeah?

There we go.

Now lesseee, in spite of my throbbing headache and a bad stomach… I just came up with a few theories about London Bombings. As well as their bid for Olympics.

First things first. I wanted London to win! And they did! Why, you may ask..because i have an affinity with that country, and that place. I loved their video presentation (have you watched it? the ending is quite funny la!) And they are creative, witty people with a vibrant culture (not that the other cities arent..but hey you gotta face it! A place that came up with the Beatles, Jamie Oliver, Coldplay, fish and chips, HGTG, Whose Line Is It Anyway, Monty Python and Goodness Gracious Me! must be damm funky la!) And, yesh I love Oxford Circus and Reduced Shakespeare Company and Piccadily! Budget hotels and sarnies and BOOTS! I was literally screamin when they won. They deserve it! I mean Olympics are about sports, and Brits (as stiff upper lipped they are) are a bunch of spirited people ( i think). They go well together init? *nod head* Besides what is sports without culture? I think they have such a intrinsic link; a culture is reflected in the sports that they play (take the Greeks for example) And london i feel is truly a global place to have the Olympics, an amalgamation of sports from around the world (pity about baseball though) *jumpjump* Ok enough. they already won. *whack self from talking too much*

NOW, about the conspiracy theories. THe most strongest theory that i have at the moment, although it is vehemently denied by the IOC, is that the terrorists bombed London because of the Olympics. HELLO!!! Its like one of the most water-holding theories la! (pardon the lack of vocab). In fact, i think the evil people were gonna bomb any city that was to be annouced by the IOC. the timing is just right! How else do you gain people’s attention, by gatecrashing a party?! I mean its just the perfect time to threaten people and wake em up to the reality of the situation. But one other theory which happens to hold water with the first one as well, is that london in particular was quite vocal about the whole iraq-alqaeda-bomb issue. Blair was freakin glued to the hand with Bush la! There in itself exists a good reason why terrorists would target London. The evil people literally kill two birds with one stone, according to the theories i mentioned.

Should i fear being killed or sued or something? *look arund warily* Next bunch of theories are a little indirect. Now comes G8. With the meetings and all, it was a perfectly good time to make a little noise. As i am a little afraid that i might get sued, please do ask me in detail what i really mean. *GRIN* And then again there is this whole culture of fear theory, if you have seen a particular documentary by a particular american film maker you would roughly get what i mean. *frown*

All i feel is that whoever is doing this are farkin assholes. People who do war are also farkin ass holes. (bush included) Have you seen the dead lying out there? have see the bloody heads and crying faces? What the hell is wrong with you!!!!! Maybe your logic is different from mine, and maybe your way of being heard is by violence - but shouldnt you realise by now that your logic makes no sense to the rest of the world? If it doesnt, shouldnt you just find another way to be understood?! (unfortunately the idea of logic, is really illogical. Its just another term, another definition. I had a quarrel once about the nature of logic and how definite it was, but to me logic is just as subjective - that for another time)

Ok i think im impassioned to the point of fever. (seriously i am having one, which probably explains the bout of rare intelligence) i hope my brain isnt permanently damaged. Muahahhahaa. Night. I need sleep. Can someone give it to me?

i have a stupid headache, i can’t move and i realise that i don’t actually talk that much intellectual crap as i would like to imagine. Muahahaha. Seriously speakin, let all of us think that I’m stupid. Makes things hell lot easier for me. I mean, if no one expects anything out of you, you would be less stressed out (even for people who don’t care about what others think, believe me, they still get stressed) I hate being sick. headacheheadache. I see the news and everything swims. i think media images make sick people even more sick. Too many, too fast! Some images don’t even last a second, and after awhile, you just get drowned out. Guess some of those old school communication theories never tested on sick people. *sniff* And typing on this blog makes me wanna throw up *pukevomitquoff*

Anyone heard of james blunt? I think ‘You’re Beautiful’ is such a nice song! Tad bit melancholy but i suppose it hits the spot. Check this out:

http://www.jamesblunt.com/video.html

Photo + text blog! Not that anyone actually reads my blog but hell. For the fun of it yeah? *smile*

All photos today courtesy of siemens SF65! This was my post-mambo/phuture/velvet look. Saw a couple of interesting sights in zouk though that Id like to share (My camera phone has its limits…so dun complain*bleah*) 1) I saw XIAXUE! Actually I think she is quite cute…*giggle* Petite I might add, but definitely a stylish petite. Not that I’m in awe of her, but she certainly needs some good publicity now and then. She deserves that much eh? 2) Many singles were there to be publicly groped and sloppily frenched on the dancefloor?! What is wrong with people nowadays..if you wanna flirt, do it with panache? Can? Is that so hard to ask? i have people like squirming all over each other in order to get some sort of turn on.. but seriously? Its a freakin turn off. Go somewhere discreet and like make out? MUST YOU DO IT ON THE FREAKIN FLOOR? (if you need places to make out i can point em out to you*roll eyes*) *Wicked Grin*

NEXTNEXTNEXT!

This was the view opposite Lians Seah Street in Bugis. Nice view Hor? I had my lunch here with my colleagues cum friends cum newly minted karaoke khakis. The food at the Domo was ok…passable and cheap (for poor underpaid interns like us) I wanna have a shop house for a house some day!!!

LALALALLALALAALALA!

Me and pretty Miss Guo..whom i had the pleasure of meeting through the internship. Hahhahah she chio hor? Like cheryl, who is the other of the trio. *wink* We have witnessed many scandals in the course of our internship at Pinnacle Alliance…and boy it just gets more interesting..why?

<——— Because of these guys!

They are like among the most crappiest friends I know la!! (rigght up there with you terry foo!!) Good loyal friends to have the honour of knowing but F**** crappy la…who gives their friends names like white tiger tell me tell me?? Muahahhaha. i shall not mention their names for the sake of their privacy(not like the photos haven exposed them enough*evil laf* yeah !Can’t wait for Charmed and all the other tv shows.

OOOOOOOOOh